Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize