no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize