long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize