you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize