he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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