Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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