i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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