you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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