Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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