Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize