I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i've created a new STD.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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