she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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