Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I smell like Dick and happiness
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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