shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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