You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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