i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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