You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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