just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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