Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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