Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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