my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize