just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize