two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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