I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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