he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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