no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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