I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize