Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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