sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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