Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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