good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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