YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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