good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize