why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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