not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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