at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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