He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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