Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize