just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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