"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize