So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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