I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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