So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize