One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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