there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My liver just had a heart attack.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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