Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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