There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize