Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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