I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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