I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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